If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency.You know what winks and then screws like a tiger? ( Wink).I don’t think I want babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby-making technique with you.What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?.If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.I think I could fall madly in bed with you.What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you.Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!.Do you know what else would look great on you? Me! Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?.
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?.I lost my keys… can I check your pants?.Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!.Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?.Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?.Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?.They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?.You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.Why not have a pick-up contest with your partner to see who laughs first? Try and send them as a flirty text, but only if you know the person well. RELATED: These Are The Best Pick Up Lines To Rattle OffĬheck out some of our favorites below. Heck, we even threw in some straight-up hilarious come-ons in case the other options don’t land. We also included some smooth pick-up lines in case you want to nail that whole naughty and suave vibe. Although it’s funny as hell to fire off some dirty pick-up lines, especially to your significant other. Luckily, with millions of people stuck at home amid the coronavirus outbreak, quarantine dating means you can try out these eye-roll-inducing lines without getting punched through FaceTime or sitting through an awkward Skype encounter. To be quite honest, if a random person came up to us and blurted any of these bad boys unexpectedly, it would be us delivering the punchline… directly to their face. No, seriously, do not try and use these to bag an actual date. And they’re not exactly stranger-friendly. Still, a warning: This list is most definitely full of NSFW jokes.
RELATED: The Steamiest Free Literotica-Style Online Erotica We Can Find According to the latest search data available to us, dirty pick-up lines are searched for 201,000 a month. You’re not alone in your search for these wild phrases. But that’s just why we love ’em! In addition to being a list of the dirtiest pick-up lines ever, this is also a comprehensive list of things to never say at work, unless you’re looking to meet with HR immediately.ĭon’t feel ashamed for being here, though. These inappropriate and hilarious pick-up lines are so bad, they’re good. What’s cringey, funny, and tries to be an aphrodisiac without being an aphrodisiac? A dirty pick-up line, anyone? Welcome to art school, because we’re about to teach you how to become the ultimate pick-up artist.
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